My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
