Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
