And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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