Porn is love you can see.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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