1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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