you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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