youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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