im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
