New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
