ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
