He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
