She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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