Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize