Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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