I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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