I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
