D3 body, D1 cock
i don't like sucking hair
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
