I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
She even gives head with a lisp.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
