The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
