apparently the secret to your success is patron
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
