I looked at my own cervix.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
