there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize
