Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
