he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
My sheets look like a crime scene.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
