wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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