Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
