I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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