oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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