It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
