I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
