clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
pray to the hookup gods
I need to align my fucking chakras
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