dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I didn't notice because vodka
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
