I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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