I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
whose parrot is this?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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