so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
