No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
