Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
