Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
