So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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