I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
