All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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