Pregnant stripper...not hot.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
