whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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