What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
