Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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