you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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