I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize