I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
