I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize