my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
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One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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