Yo dont text me then not text me
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
