I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
