Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
