She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Sext me about skeletons
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
