I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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