and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
