soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
