I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Randomize
