That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
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