I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
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