she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Randomize
