No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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