we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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