How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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